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Building a Strong Home when it gets tough |
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Wisom shared by Trevor & Pam HolmanTopics include · When the going gets tough—The tough get going· An Idle Mind is a Worried Man· To whom can we turn · A Family Needs a Home
WHEN IT GETS TOUGH Introduction FamilyHi I’m Trevor and that Pam we have been married 27 yearsWe have 3 children We have 2 grandsons. Ice Breaker“To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.”
Sun Tzu quotes (Chinese General and Author, b.500 BC) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)If you are going through hell, keep going." Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH - THE TOUGH GET GOING It’s an “I con” of a saying WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH - THE TOUGH GET GOING Some people think their tough. . . . And When the going gets tough in their relationship – The tough get going out of that relationship When the going gets tough at school – The tough get going out the back for a fight When the going gets tough in the home – The tough get going down the pub When the going gets tough at work – The tough tell them where they can stick it WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH – THE TOUGH GET GOING BELIEVE ME WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE Of course if the goings getting tough and you are worried about anything as Christians the prayers and requests should already be in action. When the going gets tough for us, like many Christians we head straight to the Armour of God and suit up.BUT when I suit up I don’t see (in the bible) anywhere where it says that I am going anywhere. In fact the instruction is quiet clear. The instruction is to Stand, - Four times we are told to “stand” it can’t get any clearer than that. When I’m doing it tough, I reflect on the picture of Moses standing at the Red Sea with the Egyptian army bearing down on them on one side and the Red Sea on the other with no were to go and Moses answers the people’s fear with “Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today” (Exodus 14:13) Can you notice that there is no “ Get ready you’re going to have to fight your way out of this one” I think it is clear STAND - and let the Lord do his work - and he will. You are all familiar with this verse“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6) In other words don’t worryDON’T WORRY ? COME ON - how many times has someone said to you – “Don’t worry about it” “Hey Mate she’ll be right” “Get over it” “Stop worrying move on” It’s not that easy but you must control your worrying First I find it helpful to set a particular time aside to talk about the challenges ahead, it may be as simple as talking it out over dinner. You may iron somethings out, you may not, but at the end pray and then hand it over to the Lord. After that the hard part begins. AN IDLE MIND IS A WORRIED MIND To make a stand sounds easy to but in practice it can be very hard.But all in all we must be able to withstand the tough times So how do I deal with all that worry and stress I found the answer I was looking for not far from the last verse. “Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) Remember AN IDLE MIND IS A WORRIED MIND It’s clear that we must train our minds to think of positive things. When my minds wanders into worry I..... Look at a photo of our grandsons. Just looking make me feel that nothing in the world is so great, the love I feel takes away any worried feeling even if it’s just for a moment to get my thoughts on track. Other ideas are :- Ø Get a hobby. Ø Reading that fishing magazine. Ø Get those photo albums out that you haven’t looked at for years Ø Make a list of happy thoughts. Ø If you come to my place and see a Jig saw puzzle on the table it’s not there for fun but it’s great to just put a piece in here and there just for a few minutes at a time to take your mind off the worry – it’s great. Ø Get stuck into all thoughts jobs that need doing around the house. So get thinking of . . . . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8) And Pray TO WHOM CAN WE TURN WHO CAN HELP In challenging times we need help Coming to your family and / or your church family for help Asking for prayer and support from a special friend Or simply going straight to the Lord IN DAY TO DAY LIFE WE ALWAYS NEED TO WATCH OUT WATCH OUT BECAUSE Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith. (1 Peter 5:8) Take note of “standing firm in the faith” There’s no running away, there’s no hidingIt’s just STAND FIRM I have never had a lion attempt to devour me, but I can tell you that I have experienced three separate attempts by sharks to devour me. They both have teeth, so the end result would I feel be similar. But as blood was only split on the first occasion. And the fact I am still here the end result of each encounter was all somewhat different. MY FIRST ENCOUNTER My first encounter with a shark was when I was about 10 or 11 and I was standing on dry land.It was on a beach in fact, as Dad use to take his 5 boys down to a beach fishing after work. It was in a remote part of the NT where we lived for some time and the beach was renowned for catching large sharks and rays. That’s probably why it was called Shark Bay. We fished with large 100lb handlines big hooks and big bait. The technique was simple for us kids throw in the lines and play on the beach.When a handline starts racing down the beach for the water one of us would grab the reel and run up into the sand dunes. Eventually the catch would emerge from the sea. Job done. Only this day a bigger than usual shark took the bait and as I ran up the beach and the shark headed out into the Timor Sea, something had to give. With the shark pulling and me pulling the tough of war began then I fell and all the line on the reel spun up my arm and quickly became a tangled mess. Within seconds I was heading down the beach being pulled by Jaws himself. My brothers all took turns at grabbing the line but the burning sensation from the nylon soon put a stop to that. The frantic screams of 5 boys and barking of our dog into at fit as he thought it was a game soon got the attention of my father who was casting for bait further up the beach. My father finally came to the rescue reaching us when things were getting desperate. He held the line as long as he could be soon the order was given to all just grab me and hang on. We were all in angle deep water when the line finally broke. The line had burned and cut it’s way into my wrist and had to be peeled out. The scar is still there today after 40 years At the end it was a fight 6 against 1, thankfully we won but the thing that has always stayed with me is that it was the Family that saved the day, not a single member of my family was able to save me by themself. It took a united effort and that is what I was able to rely on when I was in need. It’s the same for many of us in tough times. Family, whether a biological family, church family or just a group who live together as a family. It’s one of the best places to be when you need help in the tough times when you are trying to hold on. This is your Church family ask them for help even if it’s just to hold on to you so you don’t get pulled in any further. A FAMILY NEEDS A HOME While I’m on the subject of family I want to make a point that the family must have a home and a safe one at that. One of the responsibilities of the father is to provide this The first thing in establishing our home was to find a safe location.When we are in our home we must feel safe. It must be a place where a wife / mother and children can all come and feel safe and secure.This safety isn’t just built around the 4 wall but also around those that live in it. Establishing a safe home isn’t about money. You could live in caravan or anywhere. When you go camping, you don’t pitch a tent on a creek bank if you know it’s infested with crocs. You would choose a safe location. This is not a Christian principle, it’s just common cents. People of this world do this, to the best of their abilities. The Lord is always willing to help establish another good Christian home, you just need to ask. ATTACKS ON THE FAMILY IS ONE THING BUT ATTACKS ON THE HOME IS SOMETHING ELSE As well as attacks on the family you can also have attacks on the home, and suddenly your secure safe home is now under threat due to the location. You know in talking about this it makes me think of my mother and her family during the war in London during the blitz. Every night hearing the air raid sirens and wondering if they would be bombed during the night. (As their home was eventually was) and also would they or their neighbors be there in the morning? Worry you bet ya. How did they cope? I often wonder!!!! Recently we have acquired a new neighbor who has really upset the apple cart. I’ve heard it said that this is a mission field . . . May beBut I have another word, . . . . Battle fieldOr how about. . . . . War Zone I have a grandson who sometime I am not able to play with in the back with because of things like Loud music with explicit lyrics The booze sessions The swearing Bad and rude Jokes All the things that you have worked so hard for your children are under threat of being undone as they are now exposed to this filth Then there’s the fights and violence The screaming and crying Abuse Try hiding a grandson / children from that most of the time. You can’t whether your inside or out. Suddenly you’re a prisoner in your own home trying to shelter kids from all that is evil coming over the fence Do you want to prey for these people – you bet But first you should think about praying for the families under attack who need protection for their children’s young eyes and ears. Then pray for others God does not test us in this way when it comes to nurturing his childrenIn actual fact the Lord has this to say about them that want to try. Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. So watch yourselves. (Luke 17 :1-2) Please pray for our grandchildren in this regard. And others like us because at the moment we feel prayer is the only answer. As any action can easily be playing into the devils hands. ( he’s not stupid you know) PAM’S INCLUSION HERE MY SECOND ENCOUNTER Early morning and waiting in the shallow waters holding the 12 foot boat’s me on one side and a strong Tiwi islander on the other. Totally relaxed and talking about the days fishing to come. As we talked his eyes stopped looking at me but instead they where looking through me. Suddenly he lunged forward reaching me from the other side of the boat and putted me clean over the side and in the boat. As my feet left the water there was a huge bang on the side of the boat as the shark hit the missed target in a shower of foaming sea water. The Tiwi islanders name was Peter Tracker he was a formidable traditional hunter and could spear fish in murky water.These hunters could simply track even dugong even when they were under water This Tiwi hunter had special skills. If he hadn’t seen the danger coming I would have been badly bitten. It’s great to have someone around with special skills when you are in trouble. Tell me what would you do if your house caught fire?Ring Mathew – “um Mathew me house is on fire”NO you would ring the fire brigade 000Why because they are special people with special skills in putting out fires. If you have an accident you would call the ambulance.Why because they are special people with special skills in first aid. If your boat is sinking at sea you call the coast guard. Why because they are special people with special skills in rescue at sea. Good news – If you are in need of a person with special skills the Holy Spirit has provided many people with many skills, and the good news is that they are right here right now. They have special skills or as the bible calls them gifts such as. . . Prophecy Service Teaching Exhortation Giving Leadership Mercy Wisdom Knowledge Faith Healing Miracles Discerning of spirits Tongues Interpretation Apostle Helps Pastor Hospitality Intercession And many more. These are special skills or gifts are given to particular people not for themselves but to build and strengthen the church. They are freely available to any one who may need help Find out who has these special gifts and 3 things will happen 1. You will be helped and blessed 2. The church will be strengthened 3. And Glory will be given to God MY LAST ENCOUNTER You know the reef is one of my most favorite places to be. And having a boat I spend a lot of time spear fishing. When you are there it’s like you are in a world all of your own. Coral, fish, the sounds are unbelievable. (In winter you can hear the whales singing) I have seen and do see sharks on the reef on just about every time I’m in the water. And had become complacent to them until I discovered that it’s not the shark you can see you have to be worried about it’s the one you can’t see. I was taught this lesson one day when after spearing a fish I turned (just at the right time) to reload my spear gun. What happen next took less than 5 seconds to play out.Out of the blue coming at me from the drop off was a shark of about 5 to 6 feet in length. I didn’t have time to think. He was on me without slowing down, his mouth was ready for lunch and his eye had rolled back for the attack. I know this because by this time I was close. How close The shark was so close by this time his belly rubbed on my torso as he did a U turn and was gone a quick as he arrived. Something special had happened to me that day – In which I believe that I was saved by only one person – Jesus Christ Divine Intervention is new to me but it happened to me this day when there was no one else was there to help. Yes God closed the mouths of the loins when Daniel was thrown into the loins den. So why wouldn’t he close the mouth of a shark for me. Or for you, for that matter. PAM’S INCLUSION HERE OUR CHALLENGES AHEAD In conclusion what can I say.Our children have left home All of them have partners who we love We thought that the task of raising children was overBut not so it has just changed course, as we now have other challenges Some time ago Mathew spoke and flashed up some statistics relating to young people from broken or single parent homes. I must admit when it comes to statistics I’m always a bit skeptical, only because we hear about them all the time and I really wonder sometimes where they come from. So I thought I might check them out myself. I didn’t have to go too far before I found the answers to my doubt Our son is marriedIt’s her third marriageHer mother died when she was a babyShe was brought up in a single parent family Our other son is living with his girl friend She never knew her fatherHer mother is an alcoholic who has lots of children, some to different fathersShe was brought up by her grandparents before leaving home at 14She has siblings she has never meet Our daughter is living with her boy friend He never knew his fatherHe was told that his father had died two weeks after his funeralHis mother took to drink and brought other men home whom he had many violent encounters withHis brother died of a drug overdose Our parenting has changed course and grown Our mission field starts here. Let us pray. |
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